Saturday, 30 August 2008

Blushing brides

I'm hoping that I have not upset the local blogging community too much, as I am rather in need of some help. Despite repeatedly joining and sending 'please help' E-mails, my humble blog just will not be added to the Thanet blog list. It could be that it is not worthy of a prized place, however until it is publicized and commented upon, it probably will not improve.

This weeks post is a an observation I have made over the marriage season (mainly the summer months), where the sight of blushing brides and vintage Rollers are common. It should also be noted a very good time for taxi drivers, as Aunt Mable has her twice yearly sherry (the other time being Christmas), and leaves her car at the wedding reception. Anyway back to my point-infidelity.

Maybe its the heady mix of posh frocks and suits, perfume and aftershave combined with the consumption of vast amounts of alcohol, that makes the best man fair game for the bridesmaid and the grooms mother for the usher. It is possible the marriage ceremony it self invokes memories of foot loose times before committing to our partners, which in turn leads to the urge to act upon, rather than dream about our lustful thoughts.

The results of these primeval urges can be viewed across the isle most summer weekends, with the taxi driver being an unwitting alibi, witness and collaborator. The evidence normally involves blood, broken bones, tears (normally the bride), and no doubt divorce proceedings for the guilty parties.

So if your middle aged husband goes to a nightclub after the reception with the young ushers, I suggest you check where the chief bridesmaid is. Watch your best friends hands closely as she slow dances with your newly wedded husband in his kilt. Keep everybody away from the brides mother, when she starts her second bottle of wine. It is normally the taxi driver who listens to the latest tale of woe, when the celebrations cease to be celebrations!

Sad- The amount of pre-teen children walking and cycling the streets after midnight in Thanet.

Funny:- The amount of so called adults staggering and crawling the streets after midnight in Thanet.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

In the scheme of it, is Chinagate important?

If I had a pound for every time a customer asked me "are you busy tonight". If you've ever done it, don't be embarrassed, its the ice breaker for your conversation with the driver. I am truly in a privileged position as a taxi driver, talking is a big a part of the job as driving. Most of the time the conversation subject is chosen by the customer, thus giving a true insight to which current affairs are more important to them at any given time. Given the huge range of people who use taxi's (age,gender,class and race), surely the taxi customer would be a useful barometer for current affairs.
If you collected a random sample of posts by Thanet blogger's over the last few months, you could be forgiven for believing that Chinagate is a somewhat important issue for local people. However the proposed business park in Manston appears not to be important (to taxi customers), apart from the growing amount of restaurants appearing and the Olympics, the Chinese are not flavour of the month.
So you may wonder (or not), what is flavour of the month? Well at the moment national issues are prevalent, price increases and the credit crunch fill most conversations during the drive across Thanet. With gas and electric price's increasing by approximately 30% over the last 9 months, you can see the genuine concern on some oap's faces, as they talk about wearing an extra cardigan this winter, because they cannot afford to heat their homes properly. The families who have already seen their shopping budgets slashed by mortgage increases, also see the contents of their baskets shrink due to grocery price increases. These are the talked about issues currently and appear to be more of a major concern than Chinagate.
It could be argued that Thanet bloggers should concentrate on local issues like Chinagate , as the national media gives extensive coverage to issues like the credit crunch. Whilst understanding that most blogs are a personal account of the bloggers life and thoughts, some blogs in Thanet appear to be in a popularity contest using promoted issues, which in reality is a thinly veiled disguise at council/councillor bashing. However these bloggers risk alienating their readers by promoting issues like Chinagate, ahead of issues that the reader considers to be more important.
Sad:- News tonight (Saturday) about a serious stabbing near Manston riding school. The victim a male in his mid 40's was assisted by a fellow cab driver, until the emergency services arrived.
Funny:- Sunday Peering over a Garden fence in Park rd, Broadstairs (because nobody answered the bell), to be confronted with the sight of a large hairy naked male cooking on the BBQ (I hope the food didn't spit hot fat).

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Folked off

Broadstairs folk week, a Thanet taxi drivers dream (allegedly). The reality is probably in the realms of his/hers worst nightmare.
Saturday evening trip 7pm from Ramsgate to Broadstairs. Male " are you busy", marks for originality '0'. Male " How far into Broadstairs can you take me". Me "bottom of the high street". Male " ok drop me at the dolphin", marks for intelligence '0'. Male " can you come back at midnight to collect us", marks for optimism '10'.

Sunday morning trip 1am from Broadstairs to Ramsgate. Male " Milscchhh bart". Me "sorry". Male to partner " eees mutton", male to me (shouting and spitting) " arbor, milscchhh bart". Me being ignored, conversation between male and partner as interpreted by a driver with many years experience. Partner " have you got a chewing gum, I can still taste the sick". Male" if that beers off and I get ill, i'm going to complain tomorrow". Partner " It was that busy I didn't make it to the toilets, look at the state of my shoes". Male " I know what you mean, you couldn't hear a word over the bands". Thoughtful pause. Male "blinding night though". Partner " I'm going to put my bells away for next year".

Saddest sight of the week:- The police tent over the council offices in Albion place, Ramsgate.

Funniest sight of the week:- Having about 5 different people (including 2 males), answering my shout for " taxi for Charlotte" outside the Natwest bank in Broadstairs. Then all of them trying different doors to get in first.