Saturday, 30 August 2008
This weeks post is a an observation I have made over the marriage season (mainly the summer months), where the sight of blushing brides and vintage Rollers are common. It should also be noted a very good time for taxi drivers, as Aunt Mable has her twice yearly sherry (the other time being Christmas), and leaves her car at the wedding reception. Anyway back to my point-infidelity.
Maybe its the heady mix of posh frocks and suits, perfume and aftershave combined with the consumption of vast amounts of alcohol, that makes the best man fair game for the bridesmaid and the grooms mother for the usher. It is possible the marriage ceremony it self invokes memories of foot loose times before committing to our partners, which in turn leads to the urge to act upon, rather than dream about our lustful thoughts.
The results of these primeval urges can be viewed across the isle most summer weekends, with the taxi driver being an unwitting alibi, witness and collaborator. The evidence normally involves blood, broken bones, tears (normally the bride), and no doubt divorce proceedings for the guilty parties.
So if your middle aged husband goes to a nightclub after the reception with the young ushers, I suggest you check where the chief bridesmaid is. Watch your best friends hands closely as she slow dances with your newly wedded husband in his kilt. Keep everybody away from the brides mother, when she starts her second bottle of wine. It is normally the taxi driver who listens to the latest tale of woe, when the celebrations cease to be celebrations!
Sad- The amount of pre-teen children walking and cycling the streets after midnight in Thanet.
Funny:- The amount of so called adults staggering and crawling the streets after midnight in Thanet.
Saturday, 23 August 2008
Saturday, 16 August 2008
Sunday morning trip 1am from Broadstairs to Ramsgate. Male " Milscchhh bart". Me "sorry". Male to partner " eees mutton", male to me (shouting and spitting) " arbor, milscchhh bart". Me being ignored, conversation between male and partner as interpreted by a driver with many years experience. Partner " have you got a chewing gum, I can still taste the sick". Male" if that beers off and I get ill, i'm going to complain tomorrow". Partner " It was that busy I didn't make it to the toilets, look at the state of my shoes". Male " I know what you mean, you couldn't hear a word over the bands". Thoughtful pause. Male "blinding night though". Partner " I'm going to put my bells away for next year".
Saddest sight of the week:- The police tent over the council offices in Albion place, Ramsgate.
Funniest sight of the week:- Having about 5 different people (including 2 males), answering my shout for " taxi for Charlotte" outside the Natwest bank in Broadstairs. Then all of them trying different doors to get in first.