Rearview or rearend?

I can't remember the last time I went out on a Saturday night, what with it being a taxi driver's busiest night. But needs must, it was my brothers stag night and as his best man I was tasked with; ensuring that he had a good time (got pissed) and getting him home safely. Anyway if I can say so, I believe that I succeeded on both counts.

What was interesting was getting into a taxi at approx 3am this morning. Instead of looking in horror at the thing (my brother) that was shovelled inside the cab, this time I was doing the shovelling. Does this give me a better insight into how I perceive my night-time customers? Unfortunately not. Why? Because I paid extra; took him home safely through the front door and then asked the driver take me home.

Anyway forgetting all that boring stuff......

Although I have not posted for a while, I have been following Thanet's blogs with interest during the last year and a half. I was disturbed about Micheal's comments http://http//thanetonline.blogspot.com/2010/05/thanet-blogs-and-some-ramsgate-pictures.html regarding the lack of bloggers in Thanet, and I felt the need to dust of my blogger password.

As always though I will be hoping that Chinese planes will be skimming the roof of a new hotel on the old pleasurama site at Ramgate, that the Turner Centre and a re-vamped Dreamland kickstarts the regeneration of Margate. Also that Thanet will offer decent jobs for its working population and cease to become a Londoner's retirement village, where the only jobs available to the locals is wiping OAP's arses.

Beware!

If you read Sods law you will know that I was a little bit poorly, as it turned out Mrs Taxi Driver was wrong (I nearly died). Sorry to disappoint you all, but I'm still here and normal service has resumed.

This weekend; 'broke UK' officially started celebrating Xmas, I picked up the first of the seasonal party animals. Although allegedly having no money, they still managed to find enough to get drunk, spew everywhere, throw insults and try to shag their best mate's partner.

Anyway, try and remember that when you get your cab this Xmas, the driver will be sober (hopefully). He will remember what you say, what you do and what you want to do, maybe just maybe it will end up on the WWW

Sods law!

After three weeks off work, I thought it would be a good idea to make an effort yesterday and show my face. In my defence all the drivers I spoke to have said business was slow, they have described the Thanet town centre's as ghost town's. Before anybody reads to much into this, October is traditionally slow for our trade, hence why I always take some time off.

A very busy day, with plenty of people out day and night. The opening of the new toy store Smyths added a new string to the Westwood Cross bow, trade looked brisk all day, good luck to them. I'm not sure Tesco and Sainsbury will have a similar view, the roundabout between the two was jammed all day. The problem is there is no right turn into Smyths for traffic heading towards Ramsgate, they have to go to the roundabout and do a U-turn.

Last night saw my taxi full of Witches, Zombies, Horny devil's and even a pumpkin. I have a neutral view on Halloween, as it is an American concept that wasn't particularly popular when I grew up. However adults and kids alike seem to spend a great deal of money on their costumes, the results were quite spectacular. One criticism would be parents letting very young children (u8's) roam the streets trick or treating, with no adult supervision. Dark evenings and black costumes on children running between parked cars, is enough to give this taxi driver a premonition of doom.

Sods law- I take three weeks off work and return yesterday. I wake up this morning with Flu. Luckily for me Mrs Taxi driver thinks its only Man Flu!

The sweet smell of successful licencing.

That's it I have had enough, all Rugby players leaving Indian restaurants are now banned from my taxi!

I am going to start a campaign to ban smelly and loud flatulence from taxi's. I will start by lobbying the council licencing officer to get the above sign made compulsory. The next step would be for the Council licencing officers to have the power, to issue on the spot fines for all offenders.

As the council licencing officers have already enjoyed much success in applying the smoking ban, I am sure they will relish the opportunity to have their noses up the taxi driver's customers behinds.

Folked off

Broadstairs folk week, a Thanet taxi drivers dream (allegedly). The reality is probably in the realms of his/hers worst nightmare.

Saturday evening trip 7pm from Ramsgate to Broadstairs. Male " are you busy", marks for originality '0'. Male " How far into Broadstairs can you take me". Me "bottom of the high street". Male " ok drop me at the dolphin", marks for intelligence '0'. Male " can you come back at midnight to collect us", marks for optimism '10'.

Sunday morning trip 1am from Broadstairs to Ramsgate. Male " Milscchhh bart". Me "sorry". Male to partner " eees mutton", male to me (shouting and spitting) " arbor, milscchhh bart". Me being ignored, conversation between male and partner as interpreted by a driver with many years experience. Partner " have you got a chewing gum, I can still taste the sick". Male" if that beers off and I get ill, i'm going to complain tomorrow". Partner " It was that busy I didn't make it to the toilets, look at the state of my shoes". Male " I know what you mean, you couldn't hear a word over the bands". Thoughtful pause. Male "blinding night though". Partner " I'm going to put my bells away for next year".

Saddest sight of the week:- The police tent over the council offices in Albion place, Ramsgate.

Funniest sight of the week:- Having about 5 different people (including 2 males), answering my shout for " taxi for Charlotte" outside the Natwest bank in Broadstairs. Then all of them trying different doors to get in first.